In an
Epic Battle
of Man Against Beast -
Bob took on the Raccoons
(Results posted below.)


Bob vs. The Raccoons
Bob   The Raccoons  
Strategy
Points
 Strategy
Points
Ran outside in his bathrobe at 4:00 a.m to set a raccoon trap baited with a can of tuna.
Entered the trap, avoided the trigger, and took the tuna. Enjoyed a few goldfish from the buffet.
1
Ran outside in his bathrobe again at 4:10 a.m to set a raccoon trap baited with a can of tuna.
Entered the trap, avoided the trigger, and took the tuna. (We can keep doing this until he catches on. It's a kind of intelligence test.) Enjoyed a few more goldfish from the buffet.
1
(The next night)
Bob reset the trap with a can of ham. (out of tuna).
Knocked over the trap, springing it, and took the ham.
1
Was asleep ...
Decided to make the point that traps are an insult to their intelligence by dragging it into the thickest part of the woods where it would be difficult for a human to retrieve. It's still there.
1
Was asleep ...
Found it a bit difficult to catch the goldfish with the pond heater floating around, so they removed it. Enjoyed a few more goldfish from the buffet.
1
Was asleep ...
Found the solar light by the pond was also in their way, so they took it apart, leaving one piece in the pond and another about 20' away. Enjoyed a few more goldfish from the buffet. Only 9 of about 40 remaining now.
1
Was asleep ...
Found a few more snacks in the garbage in the greenhouse, and left the rest of it scattered around to make a point that humans should be more careful about their garbage.
1

And the final score is ... Bob = 0, Raccoons = 7.

Way to go Raccoons!

***

In a post-game interview, Bob had this to say:

I tried to go out there and give it my all, but the $59.95 raccoon trap I had used successfully before just wasn't up to the intelligence of these super critters. You know ... in the back of my mind I'm wondering if the two small raccoons I took out of here last year and left about 20 Km away are the ones who have come back this year ... older and a lot smarter about traps! It may be that they are just really pissed off about having to walk back, and they are doing all this extra stuff to insult me and make a point that I shouldn't mess with anyone smarter than me.

I don't know. It's just hard to understand why they would be so excessive if there wasn't some other motive. I mean, a shutout is bad enough, but did they have to run the score up to 7 to 0?

I may have to retire from the game.

I do have the support of my good wife who has tried to put everything into perspective for me.

She just said, "Bob, what costs more - goldfish or tuna?"